Sibling Adjustment

NOTE: This post was made about 3 weeks ago. I keep thinking I've published it, but then it doesn't save. Anyway, there haven't been huge changes to the sibling adjustment in the last 3 weeks, although everyday Greta's pronunciation of Lydia's name sounds like a closer and closer approximation of "Lydia." 

Overall, Greta is adjusting well to being a big sister. She is testing boundaries more often, and she is struggling a bit with the division of our time and attention, but she seems to love her sister and is excited to see her. At first she seemed hesitant about the baby -- she didn't want to touch her or hold her and she would get quiet when asked what the baby's name is. Now she proudly declares that the baby's name is "wih-uh," and is much more interested in engaging with the baby.

Her voice goes up an octave when she is talking to Lydia and gets softer (although when she is talking in vicinity of the sleeping baby, but not directly to her, she tends to get very loud). A favorite activity is to crouch down next to Lydia's bouncer and get REALLY close to her face and talk to her, saying, "Don't cry, baby. Your big sister is right here!" She has asked to hold Lydia a few times, but it's more like me holding her on Greta's lap for a few seconds before she gently pushes Lydia back towards me and says, "Now YOU take her." I had always wanted to recreate a certain photo of my sister holding me on her lap when I was a newborn . . .

Baby Arden and her big sister Michelle

. . . but to recreate such a photo, I'd have to back up enough to hold up a camera -- and so far that would almost certainly result in Greta pushing Lydia onto the floor.

But she is really an awesome big helper most of the time. When it is time to change Lyddie's diaper, she says, "I will get the supplies!" and takes out a diaper and usually several types of diaper cream and arranges them next to the changing mat. She is relentlessly looking for Lydia's pacifier and bringing it to us, even if it was less than six-inches away at the time. She also considers herself an expert on whether or not Lydia wants the pacifier or not -- "Oh no, she doesn't want it," or "She wants her pa!" -- before we've even tried it. If I ask Greta to go ask Ben to bring me a fresh burp cloth, she runs from the room, calling, "Papa! Papa! Mama needs your help!" and then bounces back a minute later, practically dancing with excitement, triumphantly holding a burp cloth with both hands.

In fact, Greta is so helpful that I often forget that she's still a toddler. I have caught myself on several occasions starting to ask Greta to help me with a task that is not age-appropriate.

"Greta, could you get me a glass of icewater while I'm nursing? Oh wait . . . never mind."
"Greta, could you go upstairs to Lydia's dresser and pick out an outfit for her? Oh wait . . . never mind."
"Greta, could you be a big helper and go assemble my manual breastpump and . . . oh wait, never mind."
"Greta, Mama needs to take a shower. Could you take the baby for a moment while I . . . oh wait . . . never mind."

Thankfully, I usually think before I speak and so I get to the "never mind" part before actually making the request aloud.

Overall, she's gotten a crash-course in what it's like to be around a baby and she understands more about breastfeeding than I'd expected. She went through a period of narrating what was happening when I would nurse Lydia: "She is drinking milk. She is drinking milk from your breast. I have milk in a cup, but she is drinking milk from your breast." Holding out my nursing pads, she'd say, "You need these. You need these for your nipples. They will keep you safe."

One time when I was nursing Lydia, Greta was having a hard time not having my attention. She said that she wanted to give her baby doll a bottle, but her baby doll was upstairs. Ben was busy and so I said, "Why don't you find the bottle and get it ready while you wait for Papa to help you get the baby doll?" She paused and then said, "No, I'm going to get the bottle ready, but first I'm going to pump!"

She hasn't attempted to use my Medela, thank goodness. But she has used my breastfeeding pillow to nurse her dolls.

Not having had a younger sibling, I wasn't really sure what to expect. But if things continue along this trajectory, I think we'll be okay!