It's New Year's Eve. It's actually nearly 11pm and Ben and I are both still up, but we had fully expected to be in bed by now, so we've already opened the envelope that contained the results of our chromosomal tests. We already knew that the baby had tested "negative" for all the abnormalities, but we had asked the nurse to put the results in an envelope and mail them to us so that we could find out the sex of the baby on New Year's Eve. This was a good day to do it, too, since I just had my first appointment with my midwife today, after transferring our care back to my midwives after seeing the OB for the first trimester. She found the heartbeat right away and we heard the baby zooming around in there, just like Greta used to do. It's a good day to find out the sex of the baby, when I am feeling a little less anxious overall.
I gotta say, it's totally surreal to know this information though. We haven't even made the pregnancy fully public yet. This post, for example, is one of the ones that I will be saving as a draft for another week or so before publishing, because we are not "out" on the blog yet.
For us, it's not only bizarre to know the sex so early in the pregnancy, but it's just plain strange to know the sex! And to have found out on a piece of paper, without even looking at the baby. I still feel a little skeptical, like we just received the results of a virtual psychic reading instead of a lab report on cell-free DNA.
I have to say, I am more excited to know than I had thought I would be. I was very worried that I would immediately lose interest in the pregnancy, having been deprived of the remaining months of anticipation and wonder. Although I do worry a little about whether the remaining 6 months of pregnancy are going to drag more slowly, I'm still excited. It's nice to be able to have a picture in my mind of our complete family.
Wednesday, December 31, 2014
And how was our Christmas? Did she get it?
The holidays this year were a bit crazy. I got sick right as my winter break was starting. Literally, the Sunday night before my first day off I got hit with a killer cough. It was like my body was saying, "Hey, aren't you supposed to be stressed out with planning right now? Oh no? You're on vacation? Well, let's see if we can find another way to add a little stress to your system!"
But other than that, things went really well. My mom was in town starting on Monday evening and then my Dad came into town on Christmas day. My mom and I went to the Science Museum for more "butterfly exposure therapy" for Greta. Poor kid. She really, really likes butterflies. Just not when they are too close.
On Christmas Eve, before I put Greta to bed, I showed her the empty stockings. We looked inside hers and saw that it was empty and I told her that sometimes special things happen on Christmas Eve and that tomorrow there might be something inside her stocking. On Christmas morning, I introduced Greta to the contents of her stocking -- a mandarin orange and a booklet of stickers. She was excited about the stickers and gently pushed away the mandarin orange. (I found this very funny, since she loves oranges, but I guess maybe it was her way of saying she didn't want to eat it right now.)
I think opening her stocking was fun and worth it, even at her young age. Over the next few days, though, she occasionally has pointed excitedly at the empty stocking and indicated that she wants to take it down and look inside. This has made me feel a little guilty for raising her expectations that, at any moment, it might be filled with treats again. It's a little hard to explain to a 21-month old that she has to wait a whole year for that trick to be performed again. But maybe it's a sign that it's time to take down the stockings and put them away for next year.
As far as her other education on the topic of Christmas, I used a pad of stickers to help explain the nativity story to her. I explained what was going on in each step as I stuck the different major characters on a piece of paper. Stickers are a great way to interact with Greta. They provide a visual aid for whatever you're talking about, and she's just generally fascinated by any information that comes in sticker form. After I'd told the Christmas story once, she wanted to use the next sheet of the same stickers again, and so she got a second rendition of the Christmas story on the back of the same sheet of paper. Then she wanted to use her other pad of stickers -- the secular stickers -- but I didn't have another piece of paper handy and so we had to just add to the nativity scene. Suddenly, there were snowflakes, polar bears, Santa Claus and stockings at the birth of Jesus. So . . . yeah . . . I may have botched that lesson a bit. Oh well, she's 21 months. I have time to clear up any confusion.
I have pictures that go with this post, but I am having trouble getting them off my phone. We'll see if I can add them later.
Sunday, December 21, 2014
Next Steps
It's December 21st, the winter solstice will occur in about a half hour, and I feel the impending return of sunshine like never before.
This week I am 12 weeks pregnant and feeling less terrified every day. We've made several personal announcements and are waiting to make just a few more before making this pregnancy public. I am excited and nervous, but also filled with hope and relief. Last week we had the NT scan and the results looked great. The next day, we got the results back for the Maternit21 testing that we'd had done and all of those came back negative (meaning no signs of any of the trisomies or microdeletions that that test screens for). The next day, I officially turned 12 weeks. In those three days, I felt a huge weight lifted off my shoulders.
I also have been feeling tiny flutters this week -- starting around 11w6d. I know a lot of people would say that that's crazy, but it doesn't really surprise me. I started feeling similar flutters in my first pregnancy probably around 12-13 weeks, but didn't realize what they were. At 15 weeks was when I felt my first kick from Greta, but I didn't feel it again until 17 weeks. Both of those times, I felt the kick on the outside as well as the inside. And since I have heard that you are more likely to feel the baby earlier in subsequent pregnancies, feeling the baby now seems appropriate and in line with its development, since we saw Piccol@ jumping and twitching during the ultrasound last week.
Speaking of the "@" symbol (I know we weren't, but I just typed it, so now I'm thinking about it), we will be finding out if we can call our little baby Piccolo or Piccola this time around -- and pretty soon. The Maternit21 test results are sitting on the dining room table and although we know that the contents of the envelope says that the baby screened negative for all the genetic abnormalities that it tests for, we asked the nurse not to tell us the sex and to let us open the results ourselves. We don't know how or when we're going to do this, though. It feels strange to me that we haven't even publicly announced the pregnancy and we could already know the sex. I feel a bit anxious about the fact that many people might not have time to get excited about the pregnancy or wonder whether we're having a boy or a girl before being told the sex. We waited so long with Greta -- the entire pregnancy we had no idea. It feels bizarre to know this early this time around and so I'm hesitant to open the envelope.
Obviously, there can be mix-ups or errors -- for example, if a Y-chromosome is detected I'm not sure that I'll entirely believe it quite yet, since there's a possibility that it will not be from this baby, but from cells that are left in my body from the baby boy that we lost last summer. Although it didn't flag this baby as having Trisomy 22 -- which also would have been present in cells left over from the baby we lost last summer. The lab knows my history -- so I'm not sure if they take the diagnoses and sex of the baby from the recent pregnancy into account when calculating the relative presence of the chromosomes. I've just heard that a recent boy pregnancy can throw off the results. But overall, the test accurately identifies fetal sex at a rate of 99.4%, which is definitely better odds than are given by most ultrasound technicians. So we'll see.
This week I am 12 weeks pregnant and feeling less terrified every day. We've made several personal announcements and are waiting to make just a few more before making this pregnancy public. I am excited and nervous, but also filled with hope and relief. Last week we had the NT scan and the results looked great. The next day, we got the results back for the Maternit21 testing that we'd had done and all of those came back negative (meaning no signs of any of the trisomies or microdeletions that that test screens for). The next day, I officially turned 12 weeks. In those three days, I felt a huge weight lifted off my shoulders.
I also have been feeling tiny flutters this week -- starting around 11w6d. I know a lot of people would say that that's crazy, but it doesn't really surprise me. I started feeling similar flutters in my first pregnancy probably around 12-13 weeks, but didn't realize what they were. At 15 weeks was when I felt my first kick from Greta, but I didn't feel it again until 17 weeks. Both of those times, I felt the kick on the outside as well as the inside. And since I have heard that you are more likely to feel the baby earlier in subsequent pregnancies, feeling the baby now seems appropriate and in line with its development, since we saw Piccol@ jumping and twitching during the ultrasound last week.
Speaking of the "@" symbol (I know we weren't, but I just typed it, so now I'm thinking about it), we will be finding out if we can call our little baby Piccolo or Piccola this time around -- and pretty soon. The Maternit21 test results are sitting on the dining room table and although we know that the contents of the envelope says that the baby screened negative for all the genetic abnormalities that it tests for, we asked the nurse not to tell us the sex and to let us open the results ourselves. We don't know how or when we're going to do this, though. It feels strange to me that we haven't even publicly announced the pregnancy and we could already know the sex. I feel a bit anxious about the fact that many people might not have time to get excited about the pregnancy or wonder whether we're having a boy or a girl before being told the sex. We waited so long with Greta -- the entire pregnancy we had no idea. It feels bizarre to know this early this time around and so I'm hesitant to open the envelope.
Obviously, there can be mix-ups or errors -- for example, if a Y-chromosome is detected I'm not sure that I'll entirely believe it quite yet, since there's a possibility that it will not be from this baby, but from cells that are left in my body from the baby boy that we lost last summer. Although it didn't flag this baby as having Trisomy 22 -- which also would have been present in cells left over from the baby we lost last summer. The lab knows my history -- so I'm not sure if they take the diagnoses and sex of the baby from the recent pregnancy into account when calculating the relative presence of the chromosomes. I've just heard that a recent boy pregnancy can throw off the results. But overall, the test accurately identifies fetal sex at a rate of 99.4%, which is definitely better odds than are given by most ultrasound technicians. So we'll see.
Do toddlers "get" Christmas?
Recently, several people have mentioned to me that Greta must be so excited for Christmas this year, now that she actually "gets it."
It has made me wonder whether my child is more oblivious than most, whether others' understanding of a 21 month old is inaccurate, or whether there is more that I should be doing to "prep" her for the magic of the season. It is most likely one of those things, though, because my child definitely does not "get" Christmas.
The closest we've come to that is that she has gazed in wonder at the Christmas tree a few times and has furtively touched the strand of beads that wraps around it. I guess she's also pointed at the nativity scene on our mantle and vocalized some of the animals' noises. She also is obsessed with a board book that my mom gave her that is basically the song of Jingle Bells set to pictures of adorable mice riding in a sleigh. It is fun to sing to her and certainly makes me feel like I'm involving her in the festivities more, but she just doesn't understand that there is anything particularly remarkable that she should anticipate on Christmas morning, much less, the Christmas story or anything of that ilk.
Should we be doing something differently?
She definitely got into the spirit of things on Halloween. We dressed her up as a puppy, which she mostly ignored, but she very much enjoyed the ritual of waiting for the children to arrive at her grandparents' house, going to get the silver bowl of candy, etc. I don't think she would have "gotten" Halloween without the tutelage of her grandmother, though, who explained the procedure to her while they waited at the door.
So should we be doing the same with Christmas? Telling her the Christmas story? Showing her the stockings and explaining that treats would appear (we have not yet bought any presents for her stocking -- oops) on Christmas morning? Or is she too young to understand this in advance and it is best to explain it in-process, the way that she was explained the rituals of Halloween? Or, should we appreciate the fact that our child currently has no expectations of this holiday -- whereas she likely will for the rest of her life -- and enjoy the fact that we don't have to stress about meeting her expectations?
Thursday, December 11, 2014
Milestone
It's December 11 and I am 11w1d pregnant with our new little addition, who we've nicknamed Piccol@ Bambin@, or just "Piccol@" for short. This was the last day of my second pregnancy -- I was 11w1d when we found out that Sparkie had passed away at 7.5 weeks. I can't believe how long it took us to get to this milestone. Since our miscarriage was a "missed miscarriage" (first diagnosed via ultrasound and not due to any signs such as bleeding), it's hard to feel confident that we've "made it." Instead, I still feel anxious.
However, we do know that the baby has made it to at least 10w1d, since that was when I had my most recent ultrasound and the baby was measuring on-track and had a good heartbeat. As if in response to my anxiety at this time, I also am feeling more pregnant than ever. I am more nauseated this week, and much, much more exhausted. I don't remember ever feeling this exhausted or nauseas with Sparkie, although my belly was protruding as much as it is now.
Even with the reassurance of ultrasounds and symptoms, my anxiety levels are high. Last week they drew my blood to do the MaterniT21 testing -- a non-invasive test that examines the baby's chromosomes in the mother's blood and can test for trisomy disorders like the one that Sparkie had. I know that I should feel relieved, knowing that we will have some pretty solid information about the baby's health within a week or so. However, instead I find myself feeling more nervous, knowing that amidst all the busyness of pre-Christmas work, we might be getting a phone call with some devastating news.
I feel very lucky that, since our first OB appointment at 8 weeks, we haven't had to go more than about 2 weeks at a time without further confirmation of viability. We had an ultrasound at 8 weeks, one at 10w1d (when I went in for the blood draw and to discuss the tests with the OB) and we'll have another on Monday at 11w5d. This has helped a lot. One of the hardest parts of losing Sparkie was the overwhelming feeling that I "should have known." That Sparkie had died for nearly a month and I was walking around blissfully unaware. Even though I worry about whether Piccol@ is still okay, I at least know that s/he was okay as of just last week. That brings this mama some peace of mind . . . and belly.
However, we do know that the baby has made it to at least 10w1d, since that was when I had my most recent ultrasound and the baby was measuring on-track and had a good heartbeat. As if in response to my anxiety at this time, I also am feeling more pregnant than ever. I am more nauseated this week, and much, much more exhausted. I don't remember ever feeling this exhausted or nauseas with Sparkie, although my belly was protruding as much as it is now.
Even with the reassurance of ultrasounds and symptoms, my anxiety levels are high. Last week they drew my blood to do the MaterniT21 testing -- a non-invasive test that examines the baby's chromosomes in the mother's blood and can test for trisomy disorders like the one that Sparkie had. I know that I should feel relieved, knowing that we will have some pretty solid information about the baby's health within a week or so. However, instead I find myself feeling more nervous, knowing that amidst all the busyness of pre-Christmas work, we might be getting a phone call with some devastating news.
I feel very lucky that, since our first OB appointment at 8 weeks, we haven't had to go more than about 2 weeks at a time without further confirmation of viability. We had an ultrasound at 8 weeks, one at 10w1d (when I went in for the blood draw and to discuss the tests with the OB) and we'll have another on Monday at 11w5d. This has helped a lot. One of the hardest parts of losing Sparkie was the overwhelming feeling that I "should have known." That Sparkie had died for nearly a month and I was walking around blissfully unaware. Even though I worry about whether Piccol@ is still okay, I at least know that s/he was okay as of just last week. That brings this mama some peace of mind . . . and belly.
Thursday, October 23, 2014
Dude, where's my period?
So my period was due today. It's 8:22pm on Thursday, October 23, and there are no signs of it.
I wasn't expecting it either. On Sunday, I got a positive pregnancy test. Actually, I got five of them. And then ten more between Sunday and today. I think with each of the previous two pregnancies, I took about 3 tests each. But this was the first time that I had a supply or Internet "cheapie" strip tests, as well as a few boxes of the more traditional plastic stick tests. And who doesn't want to see the word "pregnant" on a digital? And then I had heard of these cheap tests at Walmart where you get to use an eye-dropper, and so my scientific interest was piqued.... I may have gone a little overboard with purchasing pregnancy tests in the weeks after ovulation. But now that I have all of them, I feel like it would be pessimistic of me not to pee on them, right? Like I'm assuming that I'll need them for a future pregnancy?
Anyway, I don't feel a need to justify myself. This pregnancy is different. With my other two, I thought I would be a "crazy peestick lady" if I took a test before my period was late. And I was shaking in my shoes when I took those tests. This time, I tested early. 8 DPO: negative. 9 DPO: negative. 10 dpo, 2am while visiting our friends in Stevens Point: just barely a line -- so faint that Ben couldn't see it and I have to hold it just so in order to spot it. 10 DPO 6pm, after getting home from our road trip back from Wisconsin: clear positives on five tests.
There has been a downside to testing early, which is that once I had tested, I was pregnant (yay!) and had to adjust to all the pregnancy taboos (nay!), but still didn't feel like it was real. I strongly suspected that my period would come right on time and it would be like it had never happened. My abundant supply of cheap pregnancy tests has helped, though, and I have enjoyed watching the lines get darker each day. It's fascinating!
It also helped when the scheduling person at the OB-GYN clinic didn't hesitate to schedule me for an intake appointment at 8 weeks, despite the fact that it had been less than 4 weeks since my last menstrual period when I called. I was so surprised! I have never had an appointment that starts with an ultrasound before, as this is not how my midwife practice works. I had expected the first appointment to not be until 10 weeks, and that I would have to call ahead and claim "confusion" over my dates in order to get an ultrasound at 8 weeks for my own reassurance. I was very pleased that I could come in for a routine ultrasound and intake at 8 weeks -- exactly when I had hoped to have my first ultrasound, since our second pregnancy loss occurred at 7 and a half weeks, but wasn't discovered until 11 weeks, and that discrepancy had played a large role in the trauma of our loss.
As strange as it may sound, I actually feel less anxious then I thought I would have. I'm not sure how to explain that, as I had expected to feel absolutely terrified. And I am feeling even fewer symptoms than last time. And when I went in for the ovarian cyst, the urgent care doctor seemed to suggest that he thought I had a low chance of conceiving that cycle and should have waited because my lining would not yet be able to sustain a pregnancy. (He's not an OB-GYN, but the last thing I needed to hear on the day of ovulation was that any conception that might occur was unlikely to be followed
by healthy implantation.)
I can't explain it. So much seems stacked against us. But in the end, I think I just have a lot more trust that things will be okay. No matter what might happen tomorrow, my pregnancy test is pinker today than it was yesterday, and I am going to try not to let fear prevent me from enjoying my little poppyseed.
I wasn't expecting it either. On Sunday, I got a positive pregnancy test. Actually, I got five of them. And then ten more between Sunday and today. I think with each of the previous two pregnancies, I took about 3 tests each. But this was the first time that I had a supply or Internet "cheapie" strip tests, as well as a few boxes of the more traditional plastic stick tests. And who doesn't want to see the word "pregnant" on a digital? And then I had heard of these cheap tests at Walmart where you get to use an eye-dropper, and so my scientific interest was piqued.... I may have gone a little overboard with purchasing pregnancy tests in the weeks after ovulation. But now that I have all of them, I feel like it would be pessimistic of me not to pee on them, right? Like I'm assuming that I'll need them for a future pregnancy?
Anyway, I don't feel a need to justify myself. This pregnancy is different. With my other two, I thought I would be a "crazy peestick lady" if I took a test before my period was late. And I was shaking in my shoes when I took those tests. This time, I tested early. 8 DPO: negative. 9 DPO: negative. 10 dpo, 2am while visiting our friends in Stevens Point: just barely a line -- so faint that Ben couldn't see it and I have to hold it just so in order to spot it. 10 DPO 6pm, after getting home from our road trip back from Wisconsin: clear positives on five tests.
There has been a downside to testing early, which is that once I had tested, I was pregnant (yay!) and had to adjust to all the pregnancy taboos (nay!), but still didn't feel like it was real. I strongly suspected that my period would come right on time and it would be like it had never happened. My abundant supply of cheap pregnancy tests has helped, though, and I have enjoyed watching the lines get darker each day. It's fascinating!
It also helped when the scheduling person at the OB-GYN clinic didn't hesitate to schedule me for an intake appointment at 8 weeks, despite the fact that it had been less than 4 weeks since my last menstrual period when I called. I was so surprised! I have never had an appointment that starts with an ultrasound before, as this is not how my midwife practice works. I had expected the first appointment to not be until 10 weeks, and that I would have to call ahead and claim "confusion" over my dates in order to get an ultrasound at 8 weeks for my own reassurance. I was very pleased that I could come in for a routine ultrasound and intake at 8 weeks -- exactly when I had hoped to have my first ultrasound, since our second pregnancy loss occurred at 7 and a half weeks, but wasn't discovered until 11 weeks, and that discrepancy had played a large role in the trauma of our loss.
As strange as it may sound, I actually feel less anxious then I thought I would have. I'm not sure how to explain that, as I had expected to feel absolutely terrified. And I am feeling even fewer symptoms than last time. And when I went in for the ovarian cyst, the urgent care doctor seemed to suggest that he thought I had a low chance of conceiving that cycle and should have waited because my lining would not yet be able to sustain a pregnancy. (He's not an OB-GYN, but the last thing I needed to hear on the day of ovulation was that any conception that might occur was unlikely to be followed
by healthy implantation.)
I can't explain it. So much seems stacked against us. But in the end, I think I just have a lot more trust that things will be okay. No matter what might happen tomorrow, my pregnancy test is pinker today than it was yesterday, and I am going to try not to let fear prevent me from enjoying my little poppyseed.
Monday, October 13, 2014
Update
So it's been awhile.
Greta is approaching her 19 month birthday. We've had many ups and downs since our last post. Life has been full of new challenges, joys and sorrows and it's been difficult to keep up on here.
On July 4th, we found out that we were expecting another baby. We spent the next few months toughing out the morning sickness, preparing for a two-year age gap between kiddos, and announcing the pregnancy to some friends and family as we saw them.
We were devastated when we found out at an 11-week ultrasound that the baby had passed away a few weeks earlier. I had had no bleeding. No warning signs except the fact that my midwife couldn't find the heartbeat at my 10-week appointment. This hadn't surprised me, since the same thing had happened when I was pregnant with Greta and our follow-up ultrasound with her had revealed a squirming baby. We had gone into our ultrasound this time with the expectation that we would be reassured, not blindsided.
I could write a vivid entry on the painful experience of that day. As much as it is all a blur, I also remember elements with exquisite detail. The sound of the tech's voice. The images on the ultrasound. Staring blankly at Zoe Saldana's smiling face on the cover of a magazine while we waited for the OBGYN to come explain to us our options. Calling my mom to tell her what had happened. But reliving those memories only brings me more stinging tears, so I'm going to stop myself there.
I got a D&C the same day and we prepared to return to life as a family of three.
Everything since then has been a bit of a mess. A week later I nearly fainted at work and had to go to the Urgent Care to get checked out. Everything was fine -- just out of whack. A couple weeks after that, I had a dentist appointment and found out that I needed a root canal, which I got. That same week, my first period came and there were more tears. It was a very painful (literally -- I've never had cramps that bad before) reminder of what we had lost. A few weeks after that we received the pathology report telling us why the baby had died (an extra copy of chromosome 22) and that he had been a little boy. More tears. Last week I was having severe abdominal pain and found out that I'd had a ruptured ovarian cyst that was hemorrhaging fluid.
Are we feeling broken? Yes.
Greta is considerably less-broken than the rest of us. I am grateful that she is too young to understand what anguish we are suffering. Aside from a few nasty rounds of teething, she's actually thriving.
She is surprising me everyday with what she understands and what she uses her voice to say. A few examples:
She frequently requests help with getting into her little chair and being pushed in against her matching table. She then gestures to the other (tiny) chair and commands that you "sit, sit" as well. She continues this until you pretend to sit on the tiny chair, fearing all the while that you will break it.
She is starting to pronounce more "p" sounds. She says "papa" now instead of "baba" when referring to Ben. She also says "hop" more often, rather than her previous "ha." It seems as though everyday there is a new sound that she makes that sounds closer to the actual word than it did previously.
She is also walking with much more confidence. When I hold her hand and walk down the sidewalk, I don't feel like I have to slow down for her very much anymore. I can walk along with her at a nice stroll. She loves holding hands while walking down the street -- particularly if she gets one parent's finger in each of her hands and we walk with her between us. Ironically, this hand-holding interest sometimes fades at the moments when we approach an intersection, and there is some whining when she loses her walking privileges for not holding hands at the street.
Similar mini-tantrums also occasionally break out when she is required to sit in the stroller or the carseat. I am looking forward to the age at which this will pass -- particularly for the carseat, since there is no other option but to fight her until she is seated and buckled. I knew this day was coming, but it's no fun for anyone until she grows out of it. It's so frustrating to have to limit your mobility because outings aren't easy or fun with an upset toddler. Fortunately, though, she typically settles quickly after she is buckled. Whether it is the stroller or the carseat, she's actually a pretty easy-going kid.
This laid-back attitude has also made it very easy to wean, which we've just recently accomplished. I actually don't think I even did anything to wean her, per se, so it's not much of an "accomplishment." I don't even remember exactly when it was that I nursed her last. Yesterday I just turned to Ben and said, "Oh wow. I think Greta's weaned." Just like that. She'd been requesting to nurse less frequently. I'd been offering to nurse less frequently. Gradually, and yet all of a sudden, it happened. I feel bittersweet about this transition. It feels sad to stop nursing just as it gets natural and easy. On the other hand, it's nice to be fully done, rather than worrying about being forever stuck in a half-weaned limbo. I think the most important thing to me is that Greta seems totally content. Just now, I put her to bed on my own because Ben was at a work event. It was probably the first time I've done the entire bedtime routine on my own and not nursed her. It was as close to effortless as a toddler's bedtime can be. She doesn't even seem to remember that we used to nurse at this time -- which is, of course, a relief and a rejection all at the same time.
So that's our update. Joys and sorrows.
Greta is approaching her 19 month birthday. We've had many ups and downs since our last post. Life has been full of new challenges, joys and sorrows and it's been difficult to keep up on here.
On July 4th, we found out that we were expecting another baby. We spent the next few months toughing out the morning sickness, preparing for a two-year age gap between kiddos, and announcing the pregnancy to some friends and family as we saw them.
We were devastated when we found out at an 11-week ultrasound that the baby had passed away a few weeks earlier. I had had no bleeding. No warning signs except the fact that my midwife couldn't find the heartbeat at my 10-week appointment. This hadn't surprised me, since the same thing had happened when I was pregnant with Greta and our follow-up ultrasound with her had revealed a squirming baby. We had gone into our ultrasound this time with the expectation that we would be reassured, not blindsided.
I could write a vivid entry on the painful experience of that day. As much as it is all a blur, I also remember elements with exquisite detail. The sound of the tech's voice. The images on the ultrasound. Staring blankly at Zoe Saldana's smiling face on the cover of a magazine while we waited for the OBGYN to come explain to us our options. Calling my mom to tell her what had happened. But reliving those memories only brings me more stinging tears, so I'm going to stop myself there.
I got a D&C the same day and we prepared to return to life as a family of three.
Everything since then has been a bit of a mess. A week later I nearly fainted at work and had to go to the Urgent Care to get checked out. Everything was fine -- just out of whack. A couple weeks after that, I had a dentist appointment and found out that I needed a root canal, which I got. That same week, my first period came and there were more tears. It was a very painful (literally -- I've never had cramps that bad before) reminder of what we had lost. A few weeks after that we received the pathology report telling us why the baby had died (an extra copy of chromosome 22) and that he had been a little boy. More tears. Last week I was having severe abdominal pain and found out that I'd had a ruptured ovarian cyst that was hemorrhaging fluid.
Are we feeling broken? Yes.
Greta is considerably less-broken than the rest of us. I am grateful that she is too young to understand what anguish we are suffering. Aside from a few nasty rounds of teething, she's actually thriving.
She is surprising me everyday with what she understands and what she uses her voice to say. A few examples:
She frequently requests help with getting into her little chair and being pushed in against her matching table. She then gestures to the other (tiny) chair and commands that you "sit, sit" as well. She continues this until you pretend to sit on the tiny chair, fearing all the while that you will break it.
She is starting to pronounce more "p" sounds. She says "papa" now instead of "baba" when referring to Ben. She also says "hop" more often, rather than her previous "ha." It seems as though everyday there is a new sound that she makes that sounds closer to the actual word than it did previously.
She is also walking with much more confidence. When I hold her hand and walk down the sidewalk, I don't feel like I have to slow down for her very much anymore. I can walk along with her at a nice stroll. She loves holding hands while walking down the street -- particularly if she gets one parent's finger in each of her hands and we walk with her between us. Ironically, this hand-holding interest sometimes fades at the moments when we approach an intersection, and there is some whining when she loses her walking privileges for not holding hands at the street.
Similar mini-tantrums also occasionally break out when she is required to sit in the stroller or the carseat. I am looking forward to the age at which this will pass -- particularly for the carseat, since there is no other option but to fight her until she is seated and buckled. I knew this day was coming, but it's no fun for anyone until she grows out of it. It's so frustrating to have to limit your mobility because outings aren't easy or fun with an upset toddler. Fortunately, though, she typically settles quickly after she is buckled. Whether it is the stroller or the carseat, she's actually a pretty easy-going kid.
This laid-back attitude has also made it very easy to wean, which we've just recently accomplished. I actually don't think I even did anything to wean her, per se, so it's not much of an "accomplishment." I don't even remember exactly when it was that I nursed her last. Yesterday I just turned to Ben and said, "Oh wow. I think Greta's weaned." Just like that. She'd been requesting to nurse less frequently. I'd been offering to nurse less frequently. Gradually, and yet all of a sudden, it happened. I feel bittersweet about this transition. It feels sad to stop nursing just as it gets natural and easy. On the other hand, it's nice to be fully done, rather than worrying about being forever stuck in a half-weaned limbo. I think the most important thing to me is that Greta seems totally content. Just now, I put her to bed on my own because Ben was at a work event. It was probably the first time I've done the entire bedtime routine on my own and not nursed her. It was as close to effortless as a toddler's bedtime can be. She doesn't even seem to remember that we used to nurse at this time -- which is, of course, a relief and a rejection all at the same time.
So that's our update. Joys and sorrows.
Wednesday, June 18, 2014
15 Month Update
A few days ago, I realized that I couldn't remember the last time I'd seen Greta crawl. It's probably been a couple weeks at least. Even when I put her down on her hands and knees, she immediately pushes into a quick "downward dog" yoga pose and is standing again in a moment. When we go out and about with her, we have to remember to bring shoes -- real shoes, the kind with a hard rubber sole -- so that she isn't constrained to her stroller or shopping cart or our arms. This evening we went to Target and she got pretty sick of the shopping cart after awhile. I kept starting to put her down on the floor so that she could hold my hand and toddle alongside me, but then I'd remember that we'd forgotten to bring shoes and she was just in her bare feet. It's such a strange transition! Seeing our little baby walking around is such an everyday occurrence now, but some of our habits (like scooping up our child and taking her out to the car with no shoes on) are still ingrained in us.
In addition to all the walking, she's also becoming more communicative and interactive. She has several running jokes and her giggles are infectious. Some of the things that amuse her these days:
- When I am nursing her, she will often end up with her foot up by my face. So then I kiss her toes and she giggles. (Luckily, she's able to giggle with a nipple in her mouth without causing me pain, although it's made me nervous!)
- She likes pointing at her nose, the nose of a stuffed animal, your nose -- and then something that's not a nose (like a coaster). This sends her into a fit of giggles.
- One day, I put my face down on the ottoman. She thought this was hilarious. So now she will routinely go over to the ottoman, put her face into the cushion, and crack up. Then I'll do the same and she is rolling on the floor with laughter. Then she'll do it again too. We can spend a good 10 minutes on this "game." I have no idea why she finds it so funny, but it's fun to watch her so entertained and it gives me a chance to rest my head.
Her communication skills have really taken off -- in particular her receptive language skills. She seems to understand a lot more and will respond when we tell her things. Some examples:
- She's gotten a lot better at "clean up." She will help put things away and will proudly show me things that she has picked up and let me direct her to where they should be put.
- If we ask her something like, "Are you ready for lunch? Where do we go to eat?" she will go to her high chair. When she's hungry, she will also go to her high chair.
- She's a little bit better at communicating her diaper needs. Today, when I was prompting her to go to her high chair for lunch with question similar to the ones above, she looked at her high chair, pointed at it, but then reached up and patted me on the thighs and looked at her diaper changing station. Sure enough, when I picked her up and gave her a sniff, she was in need of a change before getting into the high chair.
- She has a few signs that she uses somewhat consistently. She will often say "guh guh" and put her palm to her mouth when she wants something to drink. (This is, I think, a modification of the sign for "water" that we use with her.) She will also make the "eat" sign some of the time and she can sometimes sign "more" and "all done." (Usually in response to us asking her, "Do you want more? Or are you all done?" and showing her the signs for each.)
- In general, if there's something she wants, she will point at it emphatically and say something that sounds kind of like, "get get" until we figure out what it is that she wants.
- When asked, she can point to her nose and hair consistently. She usually can also point to her eyes, mouth and ears.
- When she hears a dog barking, she gets quiet, waits for it to finish and then says, "Vau vau vau vau vau." In the last week, I've noticed that she also does this when she sees a dog -- or even a picture of a dog -- regardless of whether she hears the barking.
Although we absolutely love all the new and exciting changes that are happening, toddlerhood definitely has its challenges. When your screaming infant develops into a communicative little girl, it's hard to see her have a meltdown for no apparent reason. You get used to being able to understand what's going on and it's hard to feel that sense of helplessness again. It makes me feel even more excited for the changes that are yet to come, though. Knowing how much of a difference the small changes in communication are making is enough of a reminder that it gets a lot easier as they learn to show and tell you what's going on.
Thursday, April 17, 2014
13 Months
It's hard to believe that our baby isn't such a baby anymore. She's been doing all sorts of toddler-like things recently, such as:
For Greta's first birthday, she received a kitchen playset from Ikea. It was a big hit right from the start.
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And last but not least . . .
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Yes, that's right. On the eve of her 13 month birthday, I'm now ready to say that my baby is experimenting with toddling. I don't think I'd ever seen her take more than 4 steps without grabbing onto something before. But this evening she walked all the way from the couch (where I'm sitting as I take this somewhat blurry picture . . . about 2 feet forward of that blue elephant toy) to Ben's arms. Later, she walked all the way from the couch to the stairs, which is a little further and not in a straight line. A couple times she started to lose her balance, crouched down as though she was going to switch to crawling and then stood back up and took more steps.
I think this evening was a bit of a turning point -- like maybe something clicked for her. She had items in both hands, which encourages her to walk versus crawl. Overall, I think she will still crawl fairly frequently, with the ratio of toddling to crawling increasing as she becomes more confident. She looked SO proud when she did it, though. I think she's pretty aware that it's a big deal.
That's our girl. 13 months old tomorrow and not such a baby anymore!
Cooking in her Kitchen
For Greta's first birthday, she received a kitchen playset from Ikea. It was a big hit right from the start.
Hugging and Giving Kisses
Most of her hugs and kisses are directed towards her big fox/little fox pair of stuffed animals. These were also an Ikea purchase and perhaps the best money we've ever spent because she routinely picks them up and gives them sweet little hugs. It's hard to get them on camera, though, because she usually stops as soon as you lift your phone.
Playing in the Snow
Okay, I will admit it, this was just a photo op. She doesn't actually play in the snow. In part because we don't have appropriate snow clothes for her. For this picture, we had her try out the jacket part of the 2T snowpants/coat we bought her for next year.
Swinging in a Park Swing
Yes, this picture and the one above it were taken in the same month. I know. It's been an awfully tricky transition from Winter to Spring this year.
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| She didn't actually enjoy the swing too much. The movement got in the way of her people-watching. |
Experimenting with Sounds
Greta has occasionally (adorably) put her fingers in her own ears. In this particular picture, she was doing it just after Ben had covered her ears to whisper something. At first I thought she was just mimicking him, but then I realized that she seems to enjoy putting her fingers in her ears and then babbling. I think she's experimenting with how it sounds when she has her ears plugged up.
A few days later, I had her in the stroller and she was babbling as I was browsing at Babies R Us. I started to notice that her babblings were getting more and more nasal-sounding. I looked down to see that she had both her fingers in her ears and the most curious look on her face as she played around with making noises with her fingers in her nose. I was mildly embarrassed to be the lady with the noisy kid with her fingers in her nose, but I was secretly very pleased that my baby is exploring her world.
And last but not least . . .
Toddling.
Yes, that's right. On the eve of her 13 month birthday, I'm now ready to say that my baby is experimenting with toddling. I don't think I'd ever seen her take more than 4 steps without grabbing onto something before. But this evening she walked all the way from the couch (where I'm sitting as I take this somewhat blurry picture . . . about 2 feet forward of that blue elephant toy) to Ben's arms. Later, she walked all the way from the couch to the stairs, which is a little further and not in a straight line. A couple times she started to lose her balance, crouched down as though she was going to switch to crawling and then stood back up and took more steps.
I think this evening was a bit of a turning point -- like maybe something clicked for her. She had items in both hands, which encourages her to walk versus crawl. Overall, I think she will still crawl fairly frequently, with the ratio of toddling to crawling increasing as she becomes more confident. She looked SO proud when she did it, though. I think she's pretty aware that it's a big deal.
That's our girl. 13 months old tomorrow and not such a baby anymore!
Tuesday, March 18, 2014
1 Year Update!
It's hard to believe that our little girl is a year old!
What's Greta up to these days?
Daily Life
She's been eating more finger foods -- in part because we weren't able to get to the grocery store to buy more purees for a few days. She also enjoys using the spoon herself -- we'll hold out the bowl and help her dip the spoon and she smiles with such pride when she scoops up a little food and puts it in her mouth! At other times, she grabs the spoon only to wave it around in the air, though, so we have to be careful. And sometimes she shows no interest in feeding herself, preferring to let us feed her ourselves.
Tomorrow we have her 12-month pediatrician visit. I plan to ask about introducing cow's milk as a replacement for formula and breastmilk, since I have pretty much stopped pumping at work unless I have to stay late. I have been enjoying the freedom of not pumping and I'm appreciating that my part-time status has allowed me to get home and nurse fast enough that I can avoid the pump these days.
She's been sleeping well most nights, but there are always nights here and there that are rough. We've put a blanket in her crib a few times now when we've needed something to keep her warm and didn't have a clean sleepsack. It still makes me very nervous, but it's been going okay.
She's wearing 12 month clothes and will likely move up to 18 month clothes soon. It always surprises me how "on track" she is when it comes to outgrowing clothes, considering that she's on the small side as far as her growth curves. The first thing she outgrew in 12 month clothes was shirts that didn't have expandable collars -- her head just wouldn't fit in them. Now she's at the limits of her onesies as far as length. As usual, she still fits in her pants just fine, but I suspect that when we move her into 18 month onesies, even though she'll still fit in 12 month pants, we'd be able to transition her to 18 month pants without too many troubles.
Skills
It's hard to say what her new skills are. She's been pulling up and cruising and in the last couple weeks she's taken a few independent steps (towards a caregiver with outstretched arms), but I wouldn't say that she's walking yet. I think generally she's just more "kid-like" everyday. Like the way that she babbles to herself when she thinks nobody is looking, or the way that she smiles when she sees us kiss one another, or the way that she nods at us (not always as a communication technique, but sometimes?), or the way that she lights up when I come to unbuckle her from her car seat, or the way she giggles and coos when she feels the wind through her hair, or the way that she kicks her feet in excitement when she's in the stroller. These are moments that I cherish because they let me know that she is growing not only in her own skin, but as a member of our family.
Happy Birthday, Greta Girl. We love you very much.
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| Greta's first birthday! |
What's Greta up to these days?
Daily Life
She's been eating more finger foods -- in part because we weren't able to get to the grocery store to buy more purees for a few days. She also enjoys using the spoon herself -- we'll hold out the bowl and help her dip the spoon and she smiles with such pride when she scoops up a little food and puts it in her mouth! At other times, she grabs the spoon only to wave it around in the air, though, so we have to be careful. And sometimes she shows no interest in feeding herself, preferring to let us feed her ourselves.
Tomorrow we have her 12-month pediatrician visit. I plan to ask about introducing cow's milk as a replacement for formula and breastmilk, since I have pretty much stopped pumping at work unless I have to stay late. I have been enjoying the freedom of not pumping and I'm appreciating that my part-time status has allowed me to get home and nurse fast enough that I can avoid the pump these days.
She's been sleeping well most nights, but there are always nights here and there that are rough. We've put a blanket in her crib a few times now when we've needed something to keep her warm and didn't have a clean sleepsack. It still makes me very nervous, but it's been going okay.
She's wearing 12 month clothes and will likely move up to 18 month clothes soon. It always surprises me how "on track" she is when it comes to outgrowing clothes, considering that she's on the small side as far as her growth curves. The first thing she outgrew in 12 month clothes was shirts that didn't have expandable collars -- her head just wouldn't fit in them. Now she's at the limits of her onesies as far as length. As usual, she still fits in her pants just fine, but I suspect that when we move her into 18 month onesies, even though she'll still fit in 12 month pants, we'd be able to transition her to 18 month pants without too many troubles.
Skills
It's hard to say what her new skills are. She's been pulling up and cruising and in the last couple weeks she's taken a few independent steps (towards a caregiver with outstretched arms), but I wouldn't say that she's walking yet. I think generally she's just more "kid-like" everyday. Like the way that she babbles to herself when she thinks nobody is looking, or the way that she smiles when she sees us kiss one another, or the way that she nods at us (not always as a communication technique, but sometimes?), or the way that she lights up when I come to unbuckle her from her car seat, or the way she giggles and coos when she feels the wind through her hair, or the way that she kicks her feet in excitement when she's in the stroller. These are moments that I cherish because they let me know that she is growing not only in her own skin, but as a member of our family.
Happy Birthday, Greta Girl. We love you very much.
Sunday, March 16, 2014
Due Date Reflections
One year ago this past Friday, I was sadly celebrating Pi day, so disappointed that my baby would not be arriving. Ben assured me that my baby just wanted to celebrate the day in a spherical environment. This year, we had her birthday party -- a small, family affair. A combination of Greta's first Pi Day and birthday party.
One year ago this morning, convinced that my glimmers of regular contractions had fizzled out, I consoled myself that my baby wasn't coming on his/her due date by going to the Highpoint Center for Printmaking, where I made a piece of artwork for my Bambin@. This year, my parents spent the morning playing with Greta before they left town.
One year ago right now, almost to the minute as I am writing this, I lost my mucus plug in our upstairs bathroom. Within a short period of time, early labor started. Right now, Ben is in the upstairs bathroom giving a splashing Greta a bath.
One year ago tonight, at 2:47am, I woke up in active labor. Tonight I sincerely hope I am asleep at that time.
One year ago tomorrow, I was in labor all day long, expecting a St. Patrick's day baby. Tomorrow I expect to wear green to avoid getting pinched by my students and colleagues.
One year ago this Tuesday morning, I gave birth to a squirmy, slimy newborn who was placed on my chest and I thought I'd pass out from sheer exhaustion. Ben told me that she was a girl. This Tuesday, for work reasons, will be a tiring day for both Ben and myself, but it obviously won't even come close to a year ago. And as exciting as it was to meet our new baby on March 18, 2013, if the last few months are any precedent I predict that March 18, 2014 will be even happier. Much happier, in fact. There will be emotions -- there have been emotions all week -- but I predict that they will be ones of gratitude, joy, and love.
Life has been more joyful each day that we have had with our Margaret Linnea.
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| Greta celebrates Pi Day. How many circles can you spy in this picture? |
One year ago this morning, convinced that my glimmers of regular contractions had fizzled out, I consoled myself that my baby wasn't coming on his/her due date by going to the Highpoint Center for Printmaking, where I made a piece of artwork for my Bambin@. This year, my parents spent the morning playing with Greta before they left town.
One year ago right now, almost to the minute as I am writing this, I lost my mucus plug in our upstairs bathroom. Within a short period of time, early labor started. Right now, Ben is in the upstairs bathroom giving a splashing Greta a bath.
One year ago tonight, at 2:47am, I woke up in active labor. Tonight I sincerely hope I am asleep at that time.
One year ago tomorrow, I was in labor all day long, expecting a St. Patrick's day baby. Tomorrow I expect to wear green to avoid getting pinched by my students and colleagues.
One year ago this Tuesday morning, I gave birth to a squirmy, slimy newborn who was placed on my chest and I thought I'd pass out from sheer exhaustion. Ben told me that she was a girl. This Tuesday, for work reasons, will be a tiring day for both Ben and myself, but it obviously won't even come close to a year ago. And as exciting as it was to meet our new baby on March 18, 2013, if the last few months are any precedent I predict that March 18, 2014 will be even happier. Much happier, in fact. There will be emotions -- there have been emotions all week -- but I predict that they will be ones of gratitude, joy, and love.
Life has been more joyful each day that we have had with our Margaret Linnea.
Tuesday, February 18, 2014
Birthday Bonanza
She's 11 months old today. The countdown to 1 year begins now. Only four short weeks left to go.
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The house is filled with birthday fever. It's Greta's 11 month birthday and Ben's actual-factual birthday. Even though I know that eventually we'll stop measuring Greta's age in months, it's still going to be fun that when his birthday rolls around each year, it will always mean that her birthday is coming up.
Today I'm feeling very melancholy about her impending birthday, though. I just want to hold on to her precious babyhood forever. This is such a fun age. I can't even describe what makes it so fun, which I suppose means that it's nothing but the sweetness of being a parent. Am I exhausted? Yes. Am I overwhelmed by how much I love our family? YES.
A few random updates:
1. Greta has:
2. She's wearing #3 diapers during the day (to use them up) and #4 diapers at night.
3. She still prefers purees over other solids. Now that I am part-time, she gets about 4 oz of milk in a bottle while I'm out and then nurses frequently when I am home. She eats three solid meals a day and usually has some formula before bed and when she practices with a sippy cup. Favorite foods include yogurt, pancakes, Cheerios, and various baby foods.
4. Recently, when she pulls to standing and lifts her hands to show that she can stand without support (for a few seconds), she has been doing the most adorable thing where she holds her hands in front of her, turns them back and forth, does the "SQUEE!" face in amazement at the fact that she's standing without support.
5. She is getting better at knowing how to fall safely and how to lower herself down carefully. I always assumed she'd be a late walker, but now I'm thinking she might start earlier than I'd expected.
Update! Update!
Just now, I was sitting on the floor with Greta playing with some blocks. Our favorite game is when an adult builds a tower and Greta knocks it over. Sometimes she swats at it very deliberately and "scorches the earth" afterwards -- shoving the fallen blocks to the sides so that it is even more difficult for us to re-build. Other times, it has seemed as though she just simply was reaching for a block that happened to be in the middle of the tower and the falling tower was merely incidental.
This evening, though, after she knocked over a stack of my blocks, she picked one up and put it on top of the other. When she took her hand off the top one, she drew her hand back to her chest and made a "SQUEE!" face at me, so happy with her handiwork. She did this for the next several minutes -- placing one block on top of the other and carefully removing her hand, often leaving a fingertip on the top block until the very last moment. Sometimes the top block knocked over as she moved her hand, and some times she was able to keep them balanced. I praised her effort in both instances, but she was clearly more pleased with herself when she got them to balance. Intrinsic motivation for the win!
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We love you, Greta Girl! Happy Birthday to Ben and the Gretstar!
The house is filled with birthday fever. It's Greta's 11 month birthday and Ben's actual-factual birthday. Even though I know that eventually we'll stop measuring Greta's age in months, it's still going to be fun that when his birthday rolls around each year, it will always mean that her birthday is coming up.
Today I'm feeling very melancholy about her impending birthday, though. I just want to hold on to her precious babyhood forever. This is such a fun age. I can't even describe what makes it so fun, which I suppose means that it's nothing but the sweetness of being a parent. Am I exhausted? Yes. Am I overwhelmed by how much I love our family? YES.
A few random updates:
1. Greta has:
- a weight of 17.5 lbs
- a head circumference of 17.5 inches
- a length of 27.25 inches
2. She's wearing #3 diapers during the day (to use them up) and #4 diapers at night.
3. She still prefers purees over other solids. Now that I am part-time, she gets about 4 oz of milk in a bottle while I'm out and then nurses frequently when I am home. She eats three solid meals a day and usually has some formula before bed and when she practices with a sippy cup. Favorite foods include yogurt, pancakes, Cheerios, and various baby foods.
4. Recently, when she pulls to standing and lifts her hands to show that she can stand without support (for a few seconds), she has been doing the most adorable thing where she holds her hands in front of her, turns them back and forth, does the "SQUEE!" face in amazement at the fact that she's standing without support.
5. She is getting better at knowing how to fall safely and how to lower herself down carefully. I always assumed she'd be a late walker, but now I'm thinking she might start earlier than I'd expected.
Update! Update!
Just now, I was sitting on the floor with Greta playing with some blocks. Our favorite game is when an adult builds a tower and Greta knocks it over. Sometimes she swats at it very deliberately and "scorches the earth" afterwards -- shoving the fallen blocks to the sides so that it is even more difficult for us to re-build. Other times, it has seemed as though she just simply was reaching for a block that happened to be in the middle of the tower and the falling tower was merely incidental.
This evening, though, after she knocked over a stack of my blocks, she picked one up and put it on top of the other. When she took her hand off the top one, she drew her hand back to her chest and made a "SQUEE!" face at me, so happy with her handiwork. She did this for the next several minutes -- placing one block on top of the other and carefully removing her hand, often leaving a fingertip on the top block until the very last moment. Sometimes the top block knocked over as she moved her hand, and some times she was able to keep them balanced. I praised her effort in both instances, but she was clearly more pleased with herself when she got them to balance. Intrinsic motivation for the win!
We love you, Greta Girl! Happy Birthday to Ben and the Gretstar!
Saturday, February 8, 2014
10 and 3/4-ish Month Update
So there's a lot that's been going on. A lot.
I got pneumonia over the holidays and missed the first two days of school after break.
Then the "polar vortex" started in just as I was wrapping up my work at my old job. (Oh right -- I changed jobs). So my last few weeks were incredibly rushed, since I had even less time to wrap up than usual.
Then Ben got sick the week during my last week at my old job.
Then on Greta's 10 month birthday and my last day at my old job, Ben and I both started throwing up. I got better pretty fast, but Ben couldn't keep anything down for several days. This was, keep in mind, the weekend that I was transitioning from one teaching job to another. If I had been staying at my old job, it would have been the week before a 2 week vacation. Instead, it was an insane transitional time in which I was finishing up grades, cleaning out my old classroom, and setting up my new classroom and meeting my new students.
Then we had another round of polar vortex weather and school was cancelled for three more days.
Then last week, I finally had a full 5 day week with my new students.
Ben still has pneumonia.
So I haven't updated in a long time, but I don't want to wait until 11 months to write an update. Why? Because she is changing so fast I can't even believe it. It's like I have a new baby every week.
Where do I even start?
Greta has Teeth
Her first tooth popped out on New Year's morning! I was feverish with pneumonia (didn't know it at the time -- I went to the doctor later that day) and Ben was exhausted and lying on the couch at Casey and Brandon's house. All of a sudden, I looked in her mouth and saw a white thing. When I felt it, it felt razor sharp! It was so surprising and sudden. She hadn't even been behaving strangely the day before or anything. I always thought that the worst part of teething would come right as a tooth was breaking through, but Greta has been "teething" for months and the times when she is actually cutting a tooth haven't seemed much more intense than the other times she has seemed to have teething pain along the way.
Yes, I say times (plural) because she has three teeth now! The first one to come through was her bottom left front tooth. Then her bottom right front tooth. Now her top left front tooth cut through yesterday and the right top front tooth isn't far behind it. It's exciting to see! I love her toothy-toothless grin!
Greta is Crawling
She started crawling the week before she turned 10 months old. She has been "army crawling" for awhile, but then she started crawling on her hands and knees -- with her tummy above the floor. It's fun to watch -- such a "classic baby" move. She is definitely louder and more vocal when she crawls that way, although if she's on carpet and has a pacifier in her mouth, she's almost as stealthy as when she army crawls.
Greta is Pulling Up
She started pulling up shortly after she started crawling -- I'd say maybe within the first few days after turning 10 months. At first, it started with her pulling/pushing up on me while I was video-taping her. All of a sudden, I noticed that she was standing. I had a hand under her armpit for balance, but she'd basically gotten herself into a standing position on her own. A few days later, she'd pulled up on the sides of her playpen.
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Since then, she pulls herself to standing anytime she can. Furniture, people, playpen . . . basically everything in her world is just a prop for pulling up. She sometimes makes poor choices -- for example, we have to be careful when she tries to pull up on furniture that swivels or the handle to the drawer of the oven. We recently bought her convertible car seats that she will be transitioning into soon and she had to be monitored closely when they were unboxed on the floor of the living room -- uninstalled car seats make for dangerously unstable pull-up devices.
Greta is Cruising
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She doesn't cruise a ton. She mostly cruises along the sides of her playpen. Few furniture pieces are the right height (remember, she's under the 10th percentile for height) and the right distance from each other, so there isn't a great way to get around the house by cruising. Nevertheless, it is not uncommon to put her in her playpen and see her pull up and begin a circuit around her playpen, chatting away at the outside world as she does so.
Greta is Standing
Just for a couple seconds at a time, but she's definitely doing the "Look Mama! no hands!" thing. She will push up off of me until she is kind of in a "downward dog" yoga position. Then she will straighten herself upright and look super proud and adorable before she loses her balance and falls back down again. It's awesome!
Greta is Interactive
Okay, so she's always been interactive. But it's just . . . different now. It's like being around a totally new person in the last few weeks. For example, she has totally become a bath fanatic in the last couple months. She loves bathtime, splashes gleefully and is sad when she has to get out of the tub.
If you put out cheerios on her high chair tray, she has started experimenting with what will happen when she hits the tray, pushes the cheerios around, kicks against the end of the tray, surreptitiously extends her arm with a cheerio in her grip and then lets the cheerio fall to the floor. She enjoys pushing down on the edge of a cheerio with her finger and watching it catapult across the dining room in the opposite direction. Her favorite has to be when you point to a cheerio and then open your mouth wide. She laughs, picks up the cheerio you selected and offers it to you for you to nibble from her fingers. The best, though, is when she does the "fake out." She offers it, but then witholds it at the last moment, just as you're about to gobble it up from her fingers. The maniacal laughing as she does it is hilarious, but also a little concerning.
She is also very destructive. If you create a tower of blocks, for example, she will come over from across the playpen and, with great determination, knock down your blocks. Not only that, but she will enthusiastically hit at the blocks, spreading them as far apart from one another as possible, so that it is clear that there is no longer any organization or structure to the blocks as a group. She seems to take this work very seriously -- so seriously, in fact, that I've started to wonder whether she has a "No Building!" rule that she feels she is constantly (*dramatic sigh*) having to enforce with us.
She's also started to mimic us. For example, Ben has been having to use an inhaler for his pneumonia. When he does, she looks at him with great interest and waits as he holds his breath after inhaling. Then she scrunches up her face and makes an exaggerated "sniff."
Greta is Eating More "People Food" -- Slowly but Surely
Despite being nearly a year old, Greta still balks at most "big kid" foods. She just never really latched onto the idea of finger foods. She loves Cheerios and puff snacks, but rejected cut up avocado or banana. We've been most successful with small pieces of bread products -- for example, if we go to a restaurant, we'll give her small pieces of bread or scrape the salt off the crackers and let her try those. Recently, we tried giving her strips of toast with a thin smear of almond butter and that was fairly successful, although messy.
As far as spoon foods, she still loves all her typical baby food purees. Everyone told us that the pureed stage wouldn't last long, but our kiddo seems to be an exception. We have also started introducing some homemade purees and other soft foods. For example, we've given her cassoulet (including some shredded chicken, but excluding the sausage and bacon . . . seemed to love it the first day, but very fussy the second day), a few different soups (in the last week, golden potage and red lentil mulligatawny . . . pretty successful), and lasagna (not a hit). We're still working on trying to get her gradually more interested in a greater variety of foods. But she's growing and gaining, so we're also not really worried about it.
Greta has New Carseats
As mentioned earlier, we bought convertible carseats for Greta. She hasn't totally outgrown her infant seat, but she's getting close, so we decided to bite the bullet and buy her seats while there was a good deal.
On the left is the Britax Roundabout G4 which she will ride in when she's in her grandparents' car or when we are traveling.
On the right is the Chicco Nextfit, which she will ride in when she's in our car.
In the middle is her infant seat (Cybex Aton 2) for comparison. Doesn't the infant seat look tiny? Neither of the convertibles look huge until you look at them next to her infant seat.
Greta has More Hair
Enough said. Look at this adorable bed head during breakfast!
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| Greta's First Christmas |
I got pneumonia over the holidays and missed the first two days of school after break.
Then the "polar vortex" started in just as I was wrapping up my work at my old job. (Oh right -- I changed jobs). So my last few weeks were incredibly rushed, since I had even less time to wrap up than usual.
Then Ben got sick the week during my last week at my old job.
Then on Greta's 10 month birthday and my last day at my old job, Ben and I both started throwing up. I got better pretty fast, but Ben couldn't keep anything down for several days. This was, keep in mind, the weekend that I was transitioning from one teaching job to another. If I had been staying at my old job, it would have been the week before a 2 week vacation. Instead, it was an insane transitional time in which I was finishing up grades, cleaning out my old classroom, and setting up my new classroom and meeting my new students.
Then we had another round of polar vortex weather and school was cancelled for three more days.
Then last week, I finally had a full 5 day week with my new students.
Ben still has pneumonia.
So I haven't updated in a long time, but I don't want to wait until 11 months to write an update. Why? Because she is changing so fast I can't even believe it. It's like I have a new baby every week.
Where do I even start?
Greta has Teeth
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| Good luck trying to get a photo of her teeth. This was the best I could do. You can barely see a tooth on the bottom -- just don't confuse it with the thing that's at the top left . . . that's a cheerio. |
Yes, I say times (plural) because she has three teeth now! The first one to come through was her bottom left front tooth. Then her bottom right front tooth. Now her top left front tooth cut through yesterday and the right top front tooth isn't far behind it. It's exciting to see! I love her toothy-toothless grin!
Greta is Crawling
She started crawling the week before she turned 10 months old. She has been "army crawling" for awhile, but then she started crawling on her hands and knees -- with her tummy above the floor. It's fun to watch -- such a "classic baby" move. She is definitely louder and more vocal when she crawls that way, although if she's on carpet and has a pacifier in her mouth, she's almost as stealthy as when she army crawls.
Greta is Pulling Up
She started pulling up shortly after she started crawling -- I'd say maybe within the first few days after turning 10 months. At first, it started with her pulling/pushing up on me while I was video-taping her. All of a sudden, I noticed that she was standing. I had a hand under her armpit for balance, but she'd basically gotten herself into a standing position on her own. A few days later, she'd pulled up on the sides of her playpen.
Since then, she pulls herself to standing anytime she can. Furniture, people, playpen . . . basically everything in her world is just a prop for pulling up. She sometimes makes poor choices -- for example, we have to be careful when she tries to pull up on furniture that swivels or the handle to the drawer of the oven. We recently bought her convertible car seats that she will be transitioning into soon and she had to be monitored closely when they were unboxed on the floor of the living room -- uninstalled car seats make for dangerously unstable pull-up devices.
Greta is Cruising
She doesn't cruise a ton. She mostly cruises along the sides of her playpen. Few furniture pieces are the right height (remember, she's under the 10th percentile for height) and the right distance from each other, so there isn't a great way to get around the house by cruising. Nevertheless, it is not uncommon to put her in her playpen and see her pull up and begin a circuit around her playpen, chatting away at the outside world as she does so.
Greta is Standing
Just for a couple seconds at a time, but she's definitely doing the "Look Mama! no hands!" thing. She will push up off of me until she is kind of in a "downward dog" yoga position. Then she will straighten herself upright and look super proud and adorable before she loses her balance and falls back down again. It's awesome!
Greta is Interactive
Okay, so she's always been interactive. But it's just . . . different now. It's like being around a totally new person in the last few weeks. For example, she has totally become a bath fanatic in the last couple months. She loves bathtime, splashes gleefully and is sad when she has to get out of the tub.
If you put out cheerios on her high chair tray, she has started experimenting with what will happen when she hits the tray, pushes the cheerios around, kicks against the end of the tray, surreptitiously extends her arm with a cheerio in her grip and then lets the cheerio fall to the floor. She enjoys pushing down on the edge of a cheerio with her finger and watching it catapult across the dining room in the opposite direction. Her favorite has to be when you point to a cheerio and then open your mouth wide. She laughs, picks up the cheerio you selected and offers it to you for you to nibble from her fingers. The best, though, is when she does the "fake out." She offers it, but then witholds it at the last moment, just as you're about to gobble it up from her fingers. The maniacal laughing as she does it is hilarious, but also a little concerning.
She is also very destructive. If you create a tower of blocks, for example, she will come over from across the playpen and, with great determination, knock down your blocks. Not only that, but she will enthusiastically hit at the blocks, spreading them as far apart from one another as possible, so that it is clear that there is no longer any organization or structure to the blocks as a group. She seems to take this work very seriously -- so seriously, in fact, that I've started to wonder whether she has a "No Building!" rule that she feels she is constantly (*dramatic sigh*) having to enforce with us.
She's also started to mimic us. For example, Ben has been having to use an inhaler for his pneumonia. When he does, she looks at him with great interest and waits as he holds his breath after inhaling. Then she scrunches up her face and makes an exaggerated "sniff."
Greta is Eating More "People Food" -- Slowly but Surely
Despite being nearly a year old, Greta still balks at most "big kid" foods. She just never really latched onto the idea of finger foods. She loves Cheerios and puff snacks, but rejected cut up avocado or banana. We've been most successful with small pieces of bread products -- for example, if we go to a restaurant, we'll give her small pieces of bread or scrape the salt off the crackers and let her try those. Recently, we tried giving her strips of toast with a thin smear of almond butter and that was fairly successful, although messy.
As far as spoon foods, she still loves all her typical baby food purees. Everyone told us that the pureed stage wouldn't last long, but our kiddo seems to be an exception. We have also started introducing some homemade purees and other soft foods. For example, we've given her cassoulet (including some shredded chicken, but excluding the sausage and bacon . . . seemed to love it the first day, but very fussy the second day), a few different soups (in the last week, golden potage and red lentil mulligatawny . . . pretty successful), and lasagna (not a hit). We're still working on trying to get her gradually more interested in a greater variety of foods. But she's growing and gaining, so we're also not really worried about it.
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| Greta eating cassoulet -- her first "big people" meal. |
Greta has New Carseats
As mentioned earlier, we bought convertible carseats for Greta. She hasn't totally outgrown her infant seat, but she's getting close, so we decided to bite the bullet and buy her seats while there was a good deal.
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| Britax Roundabout -- Cybex Aton 2 -- Chicco Nextfit |
On the left is the Britax Roundabout G4 which she will ride in when she's in her grandparents' car or when we are traveling.
On the right is the Chicco Nextfit, which she will ride in when she's in our car.
In the middle is her infant seat (Cybex Aton 2) for comparison. Doesn't the infant seat look tiny? Neither of the convertibles look huge until you look at them next to her infant seat.
Greta has More Hair
Enough said. Look at this adorable bed head during breakfast!
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