Life in Limbo

I'm not sure how to think or feel about this stage of pregnancy.

On the one hand, I still have 6.5 more weeks before my due date, which, realistically, means I could be pregnant for over two more months.

On the other hand, in a week and a half, by baby will have reached the point in pregnancy at which my mom's water broke with her firstborn.

Last week, I was having a little meeting with some folks from work about my maternity leave plan. They haven't hired a substitute yet, which has been making me a little anxious. One of my bosses asked, "So, what's the earliest-case scenario that you'd need to go on maternity leave?" It kind of floored me because, technically speaking, I could need to go on maternity leave at any point.

Is that likely? No. But according to a little Googling I just did, 12% of babies in the US are born before 37 weeks, and three-quarters of those are the result of spontaneous labor (as opposed to inductions for pre-eclampsia, etc). I'm guessing that even among the spontaneous labors, though, a good chunk of them are probably taken up with women who have had risk factors that I don't have. So while I can't be sure of the exact odds, they probably aren't all that high.

Which is a good thing. Right now, as I've been getting more and more uncomfortable (have I mentioned my excruciating tailbone/hip pain that I get every time I stand up from a seated position?), I've been daydreaming about the possibility that the baby would come a little early and spare me some of the late-pregnancy discomforts. But I immediately feel bad for wishing that, since, according to the March of Dimes, I should be hoping for the baby to stay in until at least 39 weeks gestation.

So, in a nutshell, here are all the timing issues that I have rolling around in my brain:

1. Right now, my baby would have very good odds of survival. Although I want him/her to stay in for awhile, the scariness of pre-term labor is not as intense as it was even just a couple weeks ago.

2. In 1.5 more weeks, I will be at 35 weeks, which is also when I will consider myself to be 8 months pregnant (I know some people say that you're 9 months pregnant when you're 36 weeks, but 35 weeks is Feb. 9 and my last menstrual period was June 9, so that's how I'm measuring time). This is the week in which my mom had my sister and at which the designation moves from "moderately pre-term" to "late pre-term." It's also the week at which I can begin to obsessively check this site to see my day-by-day odds of labor.

2. In 3.5 more weeks, I will be "full-term." If the baby was born at that time, I'd no longer be disqualified for a waterbirth (at least not for that reason). I'd also have reached the point where they should have my GBS test results back, so I wouldn't have to worry about being given antibiotics unnecessarily as a result of an "unknown" status.

In 3.5 weeks, I'll be full-term. Wait a minute, is that right? Yes. Yes it is. Wow.

3. Around 3.5-5 weeks from now, I'll reach the stage of pregnancy when my mom had me. (My parents don't remember my exact due date, but they describe it as having been "late May" or "maybe early June" so since I was born on May 10, I'm guessing I was born between 37-38.5 weeks.)

4. In 6.5 weeks, I will reach my due date. This also will mark the date at which I will go on maternity leave. I'm really glad that I decided to start my maternity leave at my due date. That way, there's a silver lining if I haven't gone into labor by that point -- at least I'll get a few days or maybe even a couple weeks at home to rest up before the baby arrives!

5. In 7.5 weeks is when we have to "make a plan" with the midwives regarding the schedule for a possible induction. Our midwife group is very anti-induction, so as far as I know, they could still recommend that the baby stay in there for a week or two more, unless there are problems.

When I write out the milestones like that, even the long-range estimations of the baby's arrival don't seem all that far away. But that still leaves me with wondering how I should be thinking about this stage of pregnancy. I'm certainly not "ready to pop" but I'm also only looking at a few (busy) weeks after I'm back at work from winter break before I should be expecting a baby. At what point should I install the carseat in the car? At what point should we pack our bags? At what point should we wash the baby laundry and buy any items that we are supposed to have "on hand" when the baby comes home from the hospital? Doing these things doesn't stress me out, but not knowing when it's appropriate to do them makes me a touch nervous. I don't want to do this stuff too early and then find myself in a psychological frenzy over the built-up anticipation. I don't want to be staring at a packed hospital bag for 2 months, but I also don't want to wait until the grading piles up and my hip pain is awful, etc and then have those last few weeks be a huge pain.

Any suggestions? I'd love to hear them!