A Light at the End of the Tunnel

Yesterday and today have been strange. Something's different.

Yesterday, we had a nice long visit with Casey and her baby, Asher. During the visit, I realized that I hadn't noticed the baby move all morning. I grew concerned, drank some orange juice, and did an official "kick count" for the next two hours. The baby just barely reached the "10 movements within 2 hours" marker, but we figured that all was within normal limits, just a little unusual for Bambin@. 

Later in the evening, there were no worries about Bambin@'s movements. The baby was moving -- and moving strangely. They were low, painful twisting and wrenching movements that, at one point, almost made me feel as though I was going numb in my lower abdomen. I kept saying to my belly, "What are you doing in there? Aren't you engaged enough?" After all, at my last appointment, the midwife had made it seem as though the baby's head was locked and loaded, ready for labor. 

Over the past few days, I'd been trying out the contraction timer. But since my contractions would often come on gradually and taper off slowly, it was hard to use it meaningfully. But I'd noticed an increase in the intensity of the contractions over the past couple days, so when one hit at 7:30, I noted the time just by looking at the clock. When the next one hit, I noticed the time was 8pm, the next at around 8:30, the next at 9:00, etc. It was the first time that my contractions had ever come in a distinctly timeable way. It wasn't that I was staring at the clock and thinking, "Is this a contraction?" when the designated time approached, either. I noticed the pattern just with me glancing at the clock when I noticed a contraction. It was pretty cool to have an actual pattern. 

Eventually, I started to succumb to the clock-watching, though and so I decided that it was time to get some rest. The contractions were still 5-10 minutes in duration, and painful. So they were taking a lot out of me, despite the long spacing. I called the midwives and double-checked to make sure it would be safe to take a sleep aid even if I was in early labor. She gave me the green light to do so and encouraged me to rest up. Even with the sleep aid, I woke up with the contractions several times during the night. The pain was pretty intense at times, but I was still able to get back to sleep after it was over. Interestingly, many of the times that I woke up with a contraction were close to the top or bottom of the hour, making me think that the 30-minute spacing was maintained throughout the night. 

In the morning, I grew weary of watching the clock and, after calling my doula, was advised that it would be better to ignore the clock at this point anyway. It had been satisfying to notice a regular pattern, but I was ready for some distraction. I went to the Free Ink Day at the Highpoint Center for Printmaking. I'd mentally put this on my calendar a few months ago, when I realized that it would be a good idea to have a fun consolation prize if my due date rolled around and I still had no baby. I made two prints, one of which I think I might hang in the baby's room. While printmaking, my contractions slowed to only a couple over the course of two hours. 

When I got home, I had a few more and was exhausted. I took a long nap and was awakened by an extremely painful contraction. After it finally passed, I texted with my doula for a bit, cried for a bit about how frustrating it is to have such long, painful contractions but with such distant and discouraging spacing, and then headed to the bathroom. 

I'd been expecting the bloody show for the last few weeks, with no result. I had pretty much given up on the idea that I would have this particular early labor sign, since there weren't even tiny specs of color on the toilet tissue. So seeing "the show" on the toilet tissue this evening was pretty surprising. What was kind of awesome about it was that it got grosser and more bloody with each subsequent wipe. I'll end my description there, but if you're curious, feel free to ask. 

After seeing the bloody show, my mood changed entirely. I feel less discouraged and more optimistic. My body is showing some normal signs of early labor. Even if I'd prefer to have more "normal" contractions, I am reassured by the fact that there is a tangible, visible sign of impending labor that has been observed, rather than just my weirdo contractions alone. 

Ironically, since the bloody show, my contractions have been getting a little more "normal." They've increased in intensity, but they've reduced in length to about 2-5 minutes, rather than 5-10 minutes long. And they've been coming on with a more intense start and a more noticeable finish, which makes the after-contraction period much more manageable. Before, it had felt like 10 minutes of contraction, followed by another several minutes of soreness and exhaustion. Even though these ones hurt more, they are over faster and there's an actual rest at the end of them. The rest is nice and long, too, since they're still pretty far apart -- about every 45 minutes for the past few hours. (Although the last one was just fourteen and a half minutes after the previous one, so we'll see...)

I'm pretty excited. I know that it could still be awhile and, at this point, I'm pretty okay with that. I'm not sure that this kid would like having to share a birthday with St. Patrick's Day, so we can take this slowly and wait awhile. Maybe this is why Bambin@ waited until just after Pi Day to give me any signs of impending labor -- just to make sure that I wouldn't be stressed about trying to get him/her out in a hurry. 

EDIT: Just after posting this, I got another contraction -- fourteen and a half minutes after the previous one. Pretty cool how they get into a rhythm, no?