Proud Mama

Ben had to go back to Wisconsin to drop of the rental car and pick up our car after the repairs. This necessitated an overnight trip, which meant that I was on my own with the little Gretstar. *

I should note that, since Greta was born, she has never slept in a house with only one adult. Whether she was with us or with her grandparents, or her grandparents and us, or (at one point during the heyday of the family visiting) with her parents, both sets of grandparents, her uncle and one of her aunts, Greta has always had at least two adults in the house overnight. I also had had very little time at all (day or night) when I was alone with the baby. Since Ben was able to take time off this month, we've been together with her for all but a few hours here and there. 

So I went into this overnight with quite a bit of trepidation, but I have to say, I'm really pleased with how things went, although they weren't easy. 

I am going to take a moment to log the events of this occasion -- from yesterday morning, through until Ben returned home a few hours ago --  since they are significant to me. Feel free to skip ahead to the "highlights" section at the end if this kind of inelegant time-logging disinterests you. 

5am -- I woke up and pumped. Then I showered and dressed. 

6:30am -- I left the house and got some caffeine and food at Starbucks and then drove down to Eagen because I had a teacher licensing exam. 

7am -- I arrived at the community college where I was to take the test. Once I found it, I drove around looking for a place to discreetly pump without having to use a bathroom stall. 

7:25am -- I park at a local public park and pump with my hand pump. Thankfully, the dude mowing the lawns seems pretty oblivious. 

8am -- I drive back to the testing site and check in, asking for a place to put my milk. 

8:45am -- I start the test. I'd hoped it would be fun, but it isn't. :-( 

11:30am -- Test is finished and preliminary scoring says I passed. I grab my milk and other belongings and head back home. 

Noon -- I arrive home, grab some hummus and crackers and sit down to nurse. Ben leaves. Baby falls sound asleep while nursing on the first side, making it difficult to get her to finish the feeding. 

1:00pm -- Pack up and head to visit my uncle and cousins. This is harder than usual, since it's just me (I can't do my usual, "You get the baby and I'll get the diaper bag and nursing pillow," thing.) Somehow, I manage to get the baby, the stroller, the diaper bag, and my nursing pillow and other accouterments into the car. I do the baseless install for the car seat, since the base is in limbo while we wait for our "family car" to come back from WI. 

2:30pm -- Bid farewell to family and head to Casey's house for visiting time. Get Jimmy John's and start nursing around 4-somthingish. Enjoy lovely time with Casey. 

6:30pm -- Leave Casey's house and head home. 

7:52pm -- Call Ben to ask him whether he thinks I should just put her to bed after this feeding, or whether I should try to keep her up afterwards and do another feeding later on. Decide to try to put her to bed after this one. Reassure Ben that everything is going well. 

7:57pm -- Think to myself about how the only thing that could suddenly make this a lot harder would be a crazy diaper blowout. Prep everything (meds, nursing stuff, the works) while baby chills in the car seat. 

7:07pm -- Go to get baby. Baby is smiling. Pick baby up. Poop is EVERYWHERE. On the onesie, in the car seat, dripping from the diaper onto the floor . . . 

7:08pm -- Panic. 

7:09pm -- Call Ben. Ask what he thinks my priorities should be. Baby is hungry, baby is filthy, clothes and car seat are filthy. 

7:11pm -- After consulting Ben, I give the baby a bath (this is a first for me -- Ben is usually the bathtime pro) and put her in a new diaper. 

7:20pm -- I leave the car seat and onesie for now and just get her nursing, since she is frantic at this point. While nursing, I desperately try to find instructions for how to clean the carseat, but without looking at the seat itself, they make no sense. Halfway through, I give Greta her meds and put a sleeper on her. I finish nursing and put her to bed where she falls asleep, thankfully. 

8:30pm -- I clean the poop off the floor. FaceTime with Ben, who helps me interpret the instructions for carefully removing the seat cover of the car seat and then I put it and the onesie in the wash. 

9:00pm -- Shower. 

9:20 pm -- I get hungry. Empty the dishwasher while making a single-serve frozen bbq pizza and eat. 

9:50pm -- Note soreness in my breasts and decide to pump before bed. Take car seat pads out of washer and lay out to dry. 

10:45pm -- Get in bed. Get up several times to do things I've forgotten (like get my phone charger). 

12:00am-3:00am -- Greta wakes up intermittently and fusses. I go in and put the pacifier back in her mouth a few times. 

3:18am -- She seems hungry, so I decide it's time for her to eat. I consider nursing her, since it hasn't been so long since my last pump session that I'm overly-engorged and in pain. What if she doesn't go back to sleep afterwards? What if she doesn't fully drain me and  I spend an hour nursing, only to have to then still pump afterwards? And how will I give her her vitamins except in a bottle of milk? I decide that I don't want to risk it. I bring her down for the bottle I prepared the previous evening. She fusses while I'm in the kitchen putting the vitamins in the bottle, but smiles huge smiles every time I reappear. She takes the bottle, but keeps turning towards me as though she's expecting to latch while I have her snuggled into the crook of my arm. Seems very confused as to why I'm giving her a bottle. 

3:45am -- Put baby back down to sleep. Swaddle her "arms out" and go back down to pump. Watch her on the monitor while I'm getting pump stuff ready. Note that she is not going to sleep. Go back up two or three times to give her her pacifier and note that she is still not going back to sleep. I need her to sleep, though, because I now need to pump. Finally give in and go up and swaddle her. She falls asleep immediately. 

4:15am -- Pump. Deal with milk. Fill and run dishwasher. 

6am -- Get back in bed. 

7:20am -- Greta wakes up and is ready to eat. I bring her down, change her diaper and nurse her. While doing so, I get curious and decide to see if she'll latch on without the nipple shield. To my amazement, not only does she latch back on, but it doesn't hurt. Crazyness! She hasn't done that since she was a newborn, and at the time, it was pure agony for me when she latched on. Since then, on the random occasions when she's put her mouth on my nipple before I get the nipple shield on, it has also hurt like crazy. But for some reason when I put her on now (after using the nipple shield first for awhile in order to draw out the nipple and so that she's not ravenous), she doesn't cause me horrible pain! 

9:00am -- Celebrate! Put Greta into the stroller and go to Starbucks. Meet a neighbor on the way back. 

10:00am -- Try to start writing this post, but am interrupted by suddenly-hungry baby. Go to text Casey to tell her I've unlocked the front door for her (she was planning to come over around 10:30) and realize that I don't have my phone. And that it's in the stroller. In the garage. Pick up baby, go outside and get phone. 

10:10am -- Change diaper. Get baby back on breast. Realize that, although I've retrieved the phone from the garage, I've now left it by the changing mat. Clutch hungry baby to breast and keep nursing her while walking over to phone and grab it. Text Casey. 

10:45ish? -- Casey and Asher arrive for awesome-fun-happy-times.

Noon -- Ben comes home. 

Highlights: 

1. I dealt with a crazy diaper blow-out all by myself -- including giving her a bath (which I've never done alone before, or even taken the lead) and removing and washing the car seat pad. 

2. I got very comfortable with doing the baseless install with the infant seat. 

3. I nursed without the nipple shield for the first time since Greta was a newborn! And it didn't hurt!

4. I continued nursing while getting up and crossing the room.

5. I did the morning feeding all by myself -- even though that meant bottle feeding and pumping. (I very much hope I never have to exclusively pump for a baby -- it is HARD to do both tasks by oneself.) 

What's the point of all this? As you may have guessed, although this is probably no biggie for lots of mamas, it was a huge deal to me. Ben and I have really gotten into a routine -- especially with Greta's nighttime and morning patterns -- and so to have half of the team be gone was really a huge adjustment. But I did it! And I didn't go crazy. I feel really pleased and independent. And I have a huge appreciation for stay-at-home parents and especially single parents. Many thanks need to be given to Casey, my Uncle Brian, and my cousins -- Aaron and Katharine -- for helping me stay distracted! And to Ben, for believing in me and talking me through the disassembly of the car seat. 

And now, because I am a Proud Mama, I will end with a cute little comparison: 

Me (Arden), circa 1984

Greta, 2013

* Note: This post was written on Wednesday, July 24, but I had technical difficulties that prevented me from posting until today. Now that it's July 26, I might as well go ahead and give a Happy 6 Month shout-out to Asher!